loved into existence

…And I can’t be you.

The other day someone said to me, “I want what you have. I want this. You have the perfect life.” I was blown away. In my previous post I talked about how I struggle every.day with feeling as if I’m not enough and then someone says this. Wow! Mind.Blown. It definitely got me to thinking. It may appear that some people have it all together from the way they dress, to the vehicles and houses they own, to their families, but I will let you in on a little secret…these people have probably walked in some very dark places that you never would want to walk. They fought and prayed hard to overcome their obstacles. It all looks so easy peasy and we think how great life would be if only. Did you see what struggles they went through to get there? Or maybe they are struggling now?

I know the road I have traveled has been less than glamorous. There were times it appeared glamorous on the outside, like competing for Miss Kansas, but even that didn’t come with all the glamour.  Sure I wore some very glamorous attire and a sparkly crown, but there was a lot of hard work, discouragement, doubts, blood, sweat and tears. Then there were other times that were very dark, like when I was hospitalized in a psychiatric unit for, dare I say it,  suicidal ideation and panic attacks. Or the abuse. I wouldn’t wish my past on my worst enemy, but I am grateful for where I have been so that I can truly enjoy the blessings God has given me today. Those experiences, good or not so good, have led me here. To this point. To this beautiful family I have. To this incredible relationship I have developed with my Savior. To the friendships that have been built. To the woman I have become. To this new journey I am embarking on to provide hope and encouragement to others.

In today’s society it is so hard not to compare ourselves to others. Every which way you look, someone has something better, someone was promoted faster, or someone “looks” better. The list could go on for EVER! We are so hard on ourselves, aren’t we? We look in the mirror and feel like we don’t measure up. Did you know that comparison is the thief of joy? We can’t compare our Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 5. It’s like comparing apples to oranges. It just doesn’t make sense and it definitely doesn’t add up. We weren’t created to compete with one another in life, but rather to lift each other up. Everyone can win at this thing called life.

Did you know that you were created to fulfill a unique purpose with YOUR life that NO one else can fulfill? Yes, YOU! You have a specific calling on YOUR life. Be YOU! Be-YOU-tiful! Be YOU-nique! The only way to truly be happy with you is to discover your true identity in Christ. He has amazing things in store for you, but you have to press in, pray hard, and prioritize your relationship with Him.

Lord,

Today I pray for your guidance, wisdom, and love. Help me to have a grateful heart for everything you have provided. Help me to stop the comparison game, because I know it is the thief of joy. Help to soften my heart so I can fully allow you in to fill me with your love. Help me to shine your light everywhere I go. Help me to feel confident in my own skin. Help me to love who I am in you. Open my eyes so I can see the things you have just for me. Lord, I need less of me and more of you. Thank you for intimately knowing me, even the hairs on my head. Thank you for writing my name down in the palm of your hand. Thank you, Lord, for creating me for a specific purpose in this life. I am honored that you have called me for duty. Thank you, Lord, for believing in me.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen